I hate nights like these

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I hate nights like these.

I feel emotionally crap. Probably nearing that time again. I felt like a soft body to cuddle up to but I've been biting and baiting all day, I dunno whether I could care enough for Jesse to have him here. Not that I don't care but I'm just in one of those moods where I can't handle too much intellectual stimulation or mess.

I guess a bowl of cookies and cream icecream smothered in cadbury topping may help. And a round of Tomb Raider maybe.

I must get around to getting Sonic Heroes. The game pretty much plays itself, which sonic games are notorious for, but it's a nostalgic urge to have every sonic game I can get my hands on. I was a sega kid, clearly.

Anyway, that icecream is sounding better by the minute. Back to it.

Byes.

Ahhhh! I hate phones!

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Wow, Aussie Day yesterday.... 'Twas FUCKING HOT! So hot that it was hot most of the night. Though it wasn't that bad that I was uncomfortable and sleeping in a puddle of my own sweat though. Just enough to have a light blanket covering my legs and I woke up fairly comfy.

Doesn't stop the fact that I went to bed at 12.30 and got up at 7.30... That's only 7 hours sleep. Yikes!

The phone won't shut up this morning, I have 2 days to do a newsletter to which no one is submitting anything to (except for one article from Don Laird, I'm still waiting on the two other prime articles from the CEO and from Lewis Industries, not to mention something from staff in general)
Didn't help that this morning when trying to take two calls at once, I put one on hold and picked it back up and then realised it was the same person. Mind you it's the same person whom I fell arse over heels and damaged my knee in front of. It was the bloody accountant. I seem to become very accident prone whenever he's around. It shits me to no end.

Anyway, at least I enrol at 2 today so I get to leave at 1.45pm, which is 1h 45 minutes early. Hooroo! Whether I can stay awake or focus enough to do everything right is going to be a tough one. I don't even think that sentence made any sense. Gargh!

I can't wait til the course starts. I'm tired of workin 5 days. I love this place but i want to study again.

Ripe (or rotten) old age...

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Hooray for nerds!

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Damn those cats...

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I could've got up and broken the necks of both my cats last night... Not Right and Fhqwhgads were up playing ALL FUCKING NIGHT. I remember vaguely throwing my top at Not Right when it tried to make its entry into my room again and again and again. I hope I scared the prick. It was 4am for Christ's sake. I've only had 4 hours sleep at that stage, and I was hungover. And Fhqwhgads, it had some guts... Was walking all over my bed.

I have to find a way to lock them outta my room in the lounge room... a box against the door doesn't work. Tonight, I want a good night's sleep. Damn shame my door doesn't close properly. I need to plane it.

So now I'm screwed. I'm at work, and I've still got 3.5 hours til I can sleep. Totally looking forward to Australia Day- I think the plan is to either do something with Jesse, go home to Yea for a family BBQ, or to have a couple of drinks on the beach with my mate Hayley. I'll see, maybe the very former and the very latter. I think it may be too hard to go to Yea and then back again. You need booze on the day of Aus. Unless you're not into it. Then you need BBQ.

Anyway, I reckon I should try and bluff my way through today. I think I can do it. I'm just fiddling with some software known as ACT! 7.0, which is contact management software. It's very nice- I want to use this for our address book.

Back to it.

Panda

a totally different Homestar Character test

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I did yet another Homestar quiz purely out of boredom (I was looking up what Homestar Stuff Google brought up). Same again!





Which Homestar Runner character are you?

this quiz was made by jurjyfrort

Strange night's sleep

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I had the weirdest and worst dreams last night... I'll say one involved my boyfriend, and my best mate and another person but I refuse to ellaborate. I'll just say that it was so realistic that I woke up feeling really worried, shocked and scared. It was probably the worst nightmare I've ever had. Not scary in subject matter, but it was more that it had happened to me. And because I dream in absolute technicolour, it makes my dreams even more real. The other dream was just strange

I thought it was human standard that dreams are in 16 million colours but it turns out I'm a weird percentage of the population who can do so. Everyone else I've surveyed dreams in either black and white or sepia, and can see symbolic colours (such as red traffic light, or a yellow flower, etc). I think my little sister Jacqui can dream in full colour, and she also gets that weird sleep paralysis that I do. Now THAT is a weird experience. Feels like pins and needs overcome your entire body, and you feel awake but can't move, and you're not sure whether your eyes are open or not. Probably not but I always question it. And no matter what, everytime I get sleep paralysis, I dream. I always wake up tense, and it usually lasts for about 5-10 minutes, then I am able to fight against it and wake up. To stop it happening again, I have to get up and walk around and do something, then I can usually sleep properly again. If I don't then it just keeps happening, over and over again. I usually get suckered in to sleeping again because it usually happens when I'm really tired. I usually wake up dazed too, not refreshed. Weird stuff. I'm a freak. I have lots of weird sleeping habits. Jesse told me I cough in my sleep, and it's been verified that I like to sleep diagonal and take all the blankets.

Does anyone else out there dream in vivid colour? Or get this weird sleep paralysis thing? I guess it's kinda like being left handed- you're the minority and people think it's a little odd but there ARE others out there. What's the chances that Jesse is left handed eh...

ok seeing as though I am at work, I should keep doing my stuff. I am currently looking for a laptop online, as I keep getting shifted from computer to computer and I need my own workspace, including virtual workspace. I've put in a few bids at www.grayslonline.com.au. They've got some good Dell 1.6's 512mb with all the good stuff like DVD for under $1000. Back to it.

Ouch that f@cking hurt

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I knocked my head. Badly. Brought my head up too quickly after looking in some drawers, and the lip of the reception desk was there. No kidding, it felt like a 20 kg cube of metal had dropped on my head. Right on the corner. Almost brough tears to my eyes. In fact, I was struggling to stave them off but managed. A lump appeared pretty much straight away, and now I am dizzy, it still hurts after an hour and I can't do basic things properly. I wish I could go home but I'm gonna be a stupid hero and keep answering the phones. I need money and it's not like I have a lot to do anyway. Just archiving and looking for a laptop online. Oh and Wendy's Boise stuff I guess. Pretty mindless stuff anyway, the brain can rest. Any stress and I think it might form an annurism.
I feel sleepy and nauseated. Better get on with it.

First Day back

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I shouldn't complain... Work is good for you. It regulates your sleep pattern and gives you something to do every day. But fuck I am tired. I am not used to getting up at 6.40am. Not that I could sleep in with Not Righty and Fhqwgads running around like headless chooks this morning. Woke me up 40 minutes before my alarm. Bastards.

I was ok this morning but now my brain has slowed down to snail pace and all I wanna do is eat chicken and then sleep. And it's only 1.10. Bugger. Still a good (or bad) 2.20 to go. Focussing is a real challenge. I can't wait till my course starts and I will only be working 2 days. I like it here but 5 days is too much for me. I want to be a student again :(

Anyway, I think it's high time I made coffee. It is sorely needed.

Ta guys. Enjoy your freedom. Don't ever take it for granted.

New kitten

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Well, the birthday pissup with the family is over. Thank fuck for that. Won't be getting pissed for a while as Hayley has stacked her car and needs the cash to get another. I should probably think about paying for my amenities fees too.

Ah, anyway, I decided to take one of Whitey's kittens from home because my cat Not Right has taken to mothering them when she is away, and so I thought she could make good company for Not Right. Jesse wants to call her Fhwqgads (pronounced fahugakwads or some crap like that, see strong bad's email to verify). I don't know whether I could call such a cute animal such a wierd name. However, it seems to be stuck with her now because that's all we've come up with. Hopefully, a better name sticks a little later.

I'm bored and tired. I should make my bed. I am so lazy....

Bye for now.

For the two people who very occasionally read this blog, suggest some names for Fhwqgads, I mean, the new kitten.

A little calmer now.

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Ok... I've gone for a walk, sucked down a leeroy's juice, and been picture browsing. I feel a bit better now. And now I know that my mate Sarah V is coming along I am much happier. Hayley and Sarah are true buds. I might give Zoee and Georgia a call and see if they wanna come along if they're bored. But, I don't care, I just don't feel like I should worry about anyone who doesn't wory about me.

Anyway, I'm bored, I'm off, next blog will be probably be on my official birthday, Monday, when no one will be around :(

Byes!

More proof that the world hates me... And more reason for me to hate it.

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Fuck I hate this birthday...
Fuck I hate people who pretended to be my friends but have more important thing to do during their holiday than come to see me for my birthday. One day of the fucking year and "OMG, no I gotta stay indoors all weekend with my fucking stupid old 28 yo boyfriend and look after his 7 year old fucking daughter". Now please tell me... Where the fuck is this person's fucking priorities? SHe spends every fortnight with those pair of arsewipes but won't spare me one day of her entire year on what is supposed to be a person's most impotant and special day of the year. Fuck her.

Another arsehole decided that she didn't know who the fuck I was anymore. Fuck her too.

Fuck everyone. I just want to stay home and scull a whole bottle of scotch straight from the bottle on my own and make myself vomit up the past of my life. Even my own mother doesn't want to make the very occasional trip down to see me.

Thank fuck for Hayley and Jesse. At least they put the effort in to make sure that I haven't slipped in the shower and bumped my head on the tiles and died. Fuck everyone else.

btw, that bible site? Came up because I was getting the p and s backwards in blogspot. So I can't really complain, only check my URL typing. Still annoying though. So no spyware has attacked my computer (lately, had to do a reg cleanout and get rid of eZula and some porn toolbar for IE that I never saw because I use firefox).

SO my plan today? Message everyone who has been making me feel miserable and tell them how fucked they are and how much I hate them. At least it will be a temporary antidote. Not that I have anything to lose anyway.

Yours in utter bitterness,
Panda.

Thank f@ck for the holidays

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Ah... Holidays. I got my ol' sleep pattern back- 3am- 1pm. I love it. I hate the morning.

BTW, happy New Year everyone. Joy. I made no New Year's resolutions. Oh, except to stop whining so much. It even makes my eyes roll sometimes. Things aren't that bad. Or bad at all. Or maybe I' just saying that because I got new speakers or something. And the entire Tomb Raider collection, except the last one. I still have No's III and IV to work through, let alone the Chronicles. I seem to be having trouble finding the Angel of Darkness, but right now I have so much to keep me entertained I don't really care. And I don't care what f@ckers out there think that TR is way too out of date. So what, she still has polygons... It's still an awesome game, and game, as far as I have seen in the last 5, hasn't slipped from the same type of gameplay.

My dilemma for the day: Go the Compaq 19" at 1280x1024 for $150, OR the sony/ibm 21" at 2048x 1536 with a minor scratch on screen for $220? Eep. Better work out my budget first. And work out what my desk can handle too, lol :P

Anyway, I'm off now... time for coffee and that thing that follows ;)
Panda!