Hurt.

I'm idling here at the keyboard, shocked at what has just happened. I can't even express my sorrow properly in words.

Jesse doesn't know if he wants me or not and has wondered for some time.

He told me he loved me.
He told me he cared about me
He told me he missed me all the time.
He even said all of this last night when I slept in his bed naked.

Lies.

All fucking lies. I am so stupid. Everyone was right. I can't trust him.

The worst part yet is I'm still swinging in the balance. I have no idea what's going on.

I keep swinging from feeling numb, to feeling angry, to going into deep depression, to utter sadness, and back again. I've never had to deal with anything like this before. I'm confused and frustrated.

Thank god Hayley is coming to see me. I might die without her right now.