on the panda trail!

on the panda trail!

Well, things are ok. I'm getting good grades, I still have a good sum of money in my account, I'm now eligible for my health care card again, and I'm making friends at uni. Something is off though. No, it's not the "I've reached my goal and I dunno what the fuck to do next". I think it's the fact that I come back to my little dwelling, mundanely decide to do random things like read web comics, do research or watch TV, and realise that there's nobody in the world that is thinking about me.
Yeah, I know the stupid old saying that somewhere, someone dreams of your smile.. It's crap. Jesse wants to be away from me, my family have tonnes of shit to worry about aside from me, and my old friends hate me. Hayley, the only one who has stuck by me through thick and thin, cares about me, but she has lots on too and she can't spend her time worrying about my frivolous problems. Not that they really are problems. And that's the part that I can't work out- where is this calm depression coming from?
I am pretty sure that when I emerge a butterfly from the end of this course that some solid design firm is going to accept me, and I'll slowly build up my medium profile career that I'm opting for.

But I am so scared of being alone. And that's saying something for an introvert.